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tante

The Real Meanings of Philosophical Terms

1. Discourse: Talky talky

2. Hermeneutics: What I mean

3. Logic: Why I’m right

4. Apologetics: Why you’re wrong

5. Fallacy: Why you don’t even know you’re wrong

6. Epistemology: How I know I’m right and you’re wrong

7. Existential: Don’t feel bad: everyone is wrong

8. Post-modern: Who cares if I’m right or wrong

9. Systemic: Your wrongness goes deep

10. Neo-: You’re as wrong as those old guys

11. Crypto-: I’m the only one who knows your wrongness

12. Paradoxical: It only looks like I’m wrong

13. Hyper-: You’d be right if you could learn to state things paradoxically

14. Grand meta-narrative: He thinks he’s right about everything

15. Paleo-: You’re as wrong as that new-fangled stuff

16. phenomenal: I only seem wrong

17. transcendental: If anyone’s right, I must be

18. false consciousness: Deep down you know I’m right

19. subjugated/subaltern: They’re right, but everyone says they’re wrong

20. bourgeois: They pay good money to be right

21. proletariat: We’re wrong now, but wait for the revolution!

22. deconstruction: w/ri(gh)t(e)

23. Platonism: I know the very Form of rightness

24. Thomism: 1. It would appear that you are right.

25. Categorical imperative: If you’re right, let’s make it a universal law

26. Problematize: I’ll show you how wrong you really are

27. Cartesianism: cogito ergo rectitudo

28. ontological argument: I am so right that none greater can be conceived

29. epiphenomenon: This sentence is neither right nor wrong, as it is the product of a chemical reaction.

30. post-: Now we’re finally right

31. eclectic: You are wrong in a lot of different ways

32. synthesis: You are so wrong that you are right

33. exegesis (cf. hermeneutics): I know what it means and I can discourse all day about it

34. presuppositional: I’m right and I won’t even discuss it with you

35. -istic: You started with something good and made it really stupid

36. dialectic: I’m right, but then again, I may be wrong

37. weltanschauung: How you see the world when your brain has been made into mush by German philosophy

38. deconstruction: If I grind you up I can show that even your molecules are wrong

39. bayesian: I’ll give you even money that I’m right

40. teleological: You’ve got everything backwards

41. a priori: We’ll just assume that I am right

42. a posteriori: Having seen who won, I can assure you I was on that side all the time


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